"It was the straying that found the path direct..." -Austin Osman Spare
There are two things in this life of which I am quite certain.
1. The path you think that you are taking will most likely not lead you to your final destination.
2. If it does, it might not be exactly where you wanted to go.
In my early twenties I read a story that helped me process life as I knew it. It was called "Birds.. Letting Life Happen" Now, I don't remember the author, or exactly how it went. But I do remember, that the idea was if you spent your time trying to catch a bird, your hands would be constantly grasping, reaching and closed. And if you spent your time on your tippy toes, reaching for something that was meant to be free and trying to bring it into captivity, you would very well miss much of your precious time enjoying life. IF, However, you simply stood still and calm, enjoying the grass as your feet, the cool breeze, and the path you were taking... Perhaps the bird would land on you, in her own time.
The story impacted me greatly. So much, in fact... I got a tattoo of birds traveling around my arm to remind me to LET LIFE HAPPEN. Does this mean to sit around and do nothing? Absolutely not. But what it DOES mean is that each and every person should spend less time trying to control the circumstances around them, and MORE time enjoying the journey.
STOP trying to force your life forward. As my mom always said "You can't squeeze blood from a turnip." No matter how hard you try, there will be certain people in your life that can truly only give you JUST that... a special time in your life.
There will be people who you can love. But only love so far.
There will be jobs and things you do, that you can only do for a season.
You will GROW past people, friends, and even family. This is is all part of the journey.
I encourage you only to live in the present, enjoy the journey, break away from what you cannot change. Be grateful for the experiences you have had, and remember: WORK HARD and LET LIFE HAPPEN.