Around my thirtieth birthday I was going through some of the hardest times of my life. I always thought I would be celebrating my thirties with loads of friends having the time of my life. But it wasn’t that way for me. I was in the middle of my SECOND divorce, separating from my step children (who I raised) and working 70-80 hrs a week to keep my head above water.
I remember wishing everyday that my life would fast forward, that each day would pass faster because I was so miserable. I felt so empty without my stepsons. It was a huge transition to part ways after never being without them more than a day in 6 years. I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I struggled the worst around holidays. I hated everything about them. I just wanted them to be over. I always felt like the universe treated me unfairly. Like I had been given a bad hand. Life was hard and unfair and nothing I had worked for had panned out.
There is no “quick fix” or epiphany that I can give you to go through the horrible things in life. But the truth was. I made choices. Choices every single day that either perpetuated my condition of misery or propelled me forward into my passions, gave me renewed hope. Sometimes it just takes time. But we each make daily choices that can waste our life and keep us miserable OR, they send us in a new direction.
Oh how my life has changed. I set goals and then I accomplish them. I put forth effort every single day to develop myself. I met my partner Nick and my world was turned upside down. Never have I ever been so motivated to enjoy life.
Nick is a 12 year special operation Marine Corps veteran. The challenges he faced before the military are something that I think very few of us would have overcome. Every bit of adversity only made him MORE motivated to succeed. Fast forward to our generation's “War on Terror” and "Enduring Freedom" and we are talking about scores of friends lost, hurt or emotionally damaged seemingly beyond repair. And while some combat veterans use this trauma as an excuse to withdraw or drink themselves to sleep every night. Nick was motivated. Motivated to live life to the fullest. Motivated to make everyday count.
Nick challenged me to give up my wallowing... let go of my pain, and look forward to a promising future full of life. I had to GET OFF MY ASS! Sometimes it is as simple as trying something new. A new cardio class, a business networking group, video editing tutorials. Whether it is something to better yourself, develop a skill set or further your business, it can be just what you need!
This year I celebrated my 33rd birthday with the people I loved trying something new. **SNOWBOARDING** it’s challenging to learn something new this late in the game. For someone who likes riding bikes and lifting heavy weights the free-fluid movements never came naturally to me. The first time we went, I destroyed my neck. I busted my ass more times then I can count. But, I refused to give up. Well, Nick refused to let me give up. Second time was amazing. I took a lesson and actually enjoyed the hell out of every minute.
Next new activity was climbing. I've always been a climber. I love being high I love pushing my body up mountains and rocks. I am consciously working towards sharpening my skills. Now I'm on to longboarding. Everyday I spend time on my longboard, practicing balance and learning to let go of fear and enjoy my myself. Activity for some, might just be activity. But for me, the process of pushing myself through physical challenges has been healing.
You can't fast forward the hard times. But I promise you this. If you decide to get off your A$$ and make everyday count, you will grow and enjoy life a little more everyday.
DON'T BE A MISERABLE COW. YOU are in charge of your happiness and peace.